She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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