You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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