I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
