idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
