YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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