why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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