U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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