did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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