Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
