She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
