dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
