..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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