At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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