She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
