My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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