How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
