What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
