This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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