if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
