He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
