I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
