i think my tv is drunk
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
