Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
