I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
