Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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