There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
