I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
