Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
