its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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