Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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