I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
