Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
ok first of all what the fuck
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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