Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
