Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
