Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
