my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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