are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
