This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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