quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize