I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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