so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
not ubering you a puppy
I touched a dick in church today
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
