I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
