we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My pussy is not your playground.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
