I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
