4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize