According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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