To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
