i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
