I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
