Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
