She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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