Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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