i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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