Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
