Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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