I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
