in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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