My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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