when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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