i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
